Updated: Sep 15, 2020
The devil doesn’t have to tell bold faced lies to take you off course. The devil does not have to go in complete disguise to break you down. All the devil has to do is change a few words to a sentence to misalign you from truth. As children these tiny lies are reinforced producing sick adults unable to see with clarity who they are and how they ought to treat and be treated by others. In pursuit of intimacy we ignore the red flags and know little about the green flags because we are taught to question our own internal compass, which consequently leads us astray. Furthermore, our internal compass without the direction of Christ will lead to the destruction of our identity and a life of pain. We cry out to God, yet many are met by the quiet stillness of the night. It is a cold and lonely place when a person finds no relief from their questioning and despair.
As asserted, the devil does not need to do massive destructed things to get done what he wishes to accomplish. It is the little things over time that add up to a whirl wind of questioning. For instance, a boy teases a little girl. She deep down feels bad. Her intuition says this is wrong I don’t like how he makes me feel. A parent, teacher, adult responds to her intuitive feelings- “Oh he likes you, that is why he is teasing you.” In turn, this leaves the girl doubting her intuition, confusing her understanding of good verse bad feelings, and leaves her feeling unprotected. It reinforces the stuffing of our true feelings deep down inside. Teaching a child that what they feel is wrong is actually acceptable reinforces what is unacceptable and ignores their ability to make clear decisions. This is what I believe begins the confusion of understanding our emotions, ignoring the red flags in relationships, and distancing us from a healthy relationship with Christ. Afterall, who wants to confide in a Father who does not affirm and confirm in them that they are loved and what they are sensing is perhaps true and a sign of their gift of discernment?
As an adult this same girl is the woman who goes out with a man who says things that hurts her. She feels the warning signs inside, but her mind taps into what she was taught as a child. Her intuition is wrong, what feels wrong may actually be acceptable. He was “just kidding, he likes you”. She continues investing in him even though it is against what she knows deep down is right and good. She does not get protection from him or by God. Protection is something she had to learn by being tougher and ignoring her discernment on situations and people. The guy does not think anything of it, because he too was the boy who was taught to get the woman you have to act a certain way to break her down and build her up later.
Essentially, the devil does not have to work hard to make a person question their identity and their intuition about what is right or acceptable and what is wrong or unacceptable as designed by our Lord. Small lies create big issues for identity and relationship with Christ. When we believe small lies about how God sees us, or how we see God it creates sick relationship that do not live up to the fullness Christ intended. Christ is good not kind of good. When it comes to Christ’s identity it’s simple- He is light, the light of the world. His light casts out all darkness, which we know from 1 John 1:5, “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”
He wishes to place that same understanding and confidence in us. God is not the author of confusion. Mixed signals are the result of mixed understanding of who we are from events and people in our lives who misguided our internal compass. The small lies reinforced in childhood parlay into the microcosm of complicated and often painful relationships we have in our life due to a lack of understanding of our identity and what we carry as coheirs with Christ.
If we are called to be the face of Christ, yet from a young age it is instilled in our boys that being mean to a little girl is how you win her heart and our little girls are told that is how boys show affection, as adults you will see the confusion of who Christ is for us. And it will continue to be incorrectly modeled in small inconspicuous ways that lead to internal unrest in relationship. The healthy often miss out among the unhealthy because we have been conditioned to expect the unhealthy as right and healthy as something wrong.
As a solution we must first be willing to learn and change the dialogue we have within ourselves about how Christ sees us. The invitation to understanding who Christ is will help us heal not only for ourselves, but for future generations. The kind, moved by compassion, and sacrificial love of Christ points us to a very different type of love. We experience a patient, kind, unassuming protector of the weak and vulnerable, and friend of the outcast. In that truth alone, a wealth of wisdom in who Christ is and what we have in part by carrying Christ within us can begin to change how we view relationship with Him and in turn with others. It is in reading scripture, spending time in worship, and meditative prayer we discover the romance of God with His bride like the drunken intoxication of love found in Song of Solomon 1:15-16, “Look at you, my dearest darling, you are so lovely! You are beauty itself to me. Your passionate eyes are like gentle doves. My beloved one, both handsome and winsome, you are pleasing beyond words. Our resting place is anointed and flourishing, like a green forest meadow bathed in light.”
This is a much different dialogue than the confusing ones many of us face. It does not ignore our internal compass that something is amiss, the lie that there must be pain in order for us to feel love. There is no guessing on how the man or the woman views the other. Imagine a world where our sons and daughters thrive knowing the sweet affections of our Father in that way. The doubt in our self-worth, the doubt in our discernment, the doubt in our understanding of unhealthy relationships sent by the darkness of the devil stands no chance to the victorious vision Christ has for His bride. When we align ourselves in the identity of Christ the vision of who we are is established and invites holy and pure relationship to flourish with ourselves, with God, and in turn with others. For those of you facing pain within your intimate relationships or those still waiting for the one may God bless you today with vision to see in a unique intimate way only you would know He is touching your soul. May He guide you toward giving and receiving kinder more patient speech. May the healthy green flags that breathe life into your spirit flourish, and may we have the courage and strength to build up our children to hear in confidence from Jesus so that they might see their worth and represent the true love of Christ in their lives. It is within Christ we are without doubt.